With only a couple days left to do your holiday shopping, we thought we’d offer some gift ideas for your favorite Justice Department employee or DOJ geek. We’ve done some of the work for you by visiting a few downtown D.C. stores and checking out some Web sites.
What attorney couldn’t use another tie? For those with DOJ pride, this tie features the face of Attorney General Eric Holder. For only $38.50, you can always have your favorite Attorney General close by. And don’t be afraid to loosen it at the end of the day, even Holder does that!
Does work seem to slow down this time of year? Need something to keep you slogging away at your desk? Well then, this cops vs. robbers police chess set is just what you’ve been looking for. See if you really are smarter then the bad guys. The set is on sale for $76.16. What a steal! (pun intended)
Why not bring some color to your office with a personalized caricature? On the left is a tasteful example of a lawyer doing a pole dance around the scales of justice. Just send a photo and describe the scene, and a professional caricaturist will do the rest, starting at just $99.
Did someone you work with help draft the Patriot Act? Show them your appreciation by giving them this Bill of Rights mug. Best part about the mug? The text disappears when hot liquid is added. Watch your civil liberties disappear right before your eyes for only $12!
To lie or not to lie — what a silly question! Why would a lawyer need to lie as long as he or she has this mechanical fortune teller to help decide how to win. For $125 your favorite lawyer can choose to win by one of these tactics: “baffle them with legalese,” “find a loophole” or “sneak out to play golf.”
Even the Attorney General takes a break from working sometimes. Or maybe he brings his work with him. Either way we know that Eric Holder keeps it legal at lunch. So why not pick up a gift card to Legal Sea Foods?
We don’t care what former Vice President Dick Cheney says, we know that Holder is the nation’s chief law enforcement officer. But just in case the Attorney General needs to remind others, someone should pick him up this hat so everyone knows who’s top cop.
Are you a DOJ rock star? Do you think you’re awesome enough to fill the shoes of outgoing Fraud Section chief Steve Tyrrell? Well then you should be sporting these glasses. Think some of your co-workers are also rock stars? Then you’re in luck because these glasses come in a 12-pack for $25.15.
Depressed by your score from the FBI open-book test? How about an after-work drink to take the edge off? Then this “Federal Bureau of Intoxication” shot glass is for you! This good time retails for $2.49.
Although the DOJ holiday party has already passed it’s never too early to get snazzy for next year’s event. Americana Memorabilia right near the White House offers a variety of cuff links including these with the insignia of the U.S. Marshals Service. These designer duds retail for $135.
Just a reminder — there are rules about government employees accepting holiday gifts from people outside of government (even ones as cool as star-shaped sunglasses). A couple of weeks ago Office of Government Ethics Director Robert I. Cusick sent this letter to “Designated Agency Ethics Officials.” Along with the reminder about the office’s gift policy, the memo reprises a 1994 holiday poem (since updated) about gift giving. Here’s an excerpt:
Some gifts may be taken but some are verboten.
The source is the key – it’s the rule that I’m quotin’.
When from me or others
The source seeks some act,
I must find an exception or I could be sacked.